Despite popular belief, 2016 was a great year for many different reasons. Sure, the beginning of 2016 was rough beyond understanding, and some parts in the middle were hard too. But overall, there was something I gained this year that I have never gained before; a comfort in being alone, learning to do things for me and no one else.
Before this year, a lot of the things I’ve done have been either with someone else, for someone else, or in spite someone else. It has never really been for me, by me, or even about me. The reason for that is my demeanor as a person is to always give, selflessly and wholeheartedly. What I have been failing to realize is that by doing so, I stopped understanding and doing things, for me.
This year, I promised myself that this would be the year of my yes, with the hopes to become braver, stronger, and confident in every choice I ever make. Inspired by Shonda Rhimes and Nia, my key note speaker at my first world graduation ceremony, I decided to say yes to everything and anything that scares me. How my life has changed simply by saying yes.
- I said yes to trying new things.
This year, I decided to say yes to trying new things. This including going out with someone I knew very little about, resulting in having a new honest, fun, and adventurous friend. I said yes to creating this blog and exposing my inner thoughts, which helped build my confidence both as a person and as a writer. I even said yes to trying out new foods, which led me to discover a love for veggie burgers and chimis (I never trusted food out of a truck unless it was tacos). Lesson learned; you might be surprised in what you fall in love with when you just try. - I said yes to simply having fun
Before 2016, I was always so self conscious about what people (mostly those who didn’t know me) thought about me when they saw me out and about. Was my shirt too tight? Do I look unappealing? Is my makeup too much? Too little? I have never been a boring person, but always payed attention to what people thought of me. This year, I decided to say fuck off. So what if my shirt was see thru, I have on a bra. So what if my lipstick is too dark, I look fierce! Suddenly, almost like magic, what people thought of me no longer became a concern to me and you know what? The less I cared, the more people I attracted! confidence attracts people, and so I learned a very important lesson; what people think of you, is none of your business. Just keep doing you boo. - I said yes to letting people in
The idea of having people know too much about me terrifies me. Which is why I said yes to being opened and honest about who I am, where I come from, and any other brutal and personal detail anyone asked me for. In doing so, I realized that the reason I’ve kept quiet about who I was, was simply because I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed to admit that my upbringing was not all rainbows and sunshine, I was embarrassed to admit that I’ve had my heart broken multiple times, embarrassed to admit I’ve been to therapy, embarrassed to admit that I have made many mistakes, some worse than others, and the list goes on and on. When I slowly began to open myself and let people in, I was shocked to find that many people have a lot in common with me. The details about myself that I was too embarrassed to admit, did not weigh me down as much anymore. I began to accept all the things that made me who I was and if someone did not agree or changed their opinion on who I was, I learned that that said more about them than it did about me. Lesson learned; In order to become a better you, you need to accept every flaw, mistake, and difficult past that you have endure. Your history is important and plays an important role in your future.
So to 2016, thank you for making me fearless. Sure, there is still some work to be done, some fear to overcome, and some mountains to climb. But without all these lessons learned, I would never have the courage and confidence to take on anything and everything coming my way 2017.
-Yes
insidemymind20 